Well, I’m in the process of getting the house picture ready for the Real Estate photographers……which seems like an unreal prospect. I bought this house when it was 1 day from being ‘red tagged’… meaning it would be deemed uninhabitable, so you can only imagine how lovely it was when we moved in!!
So at the moment I’m actually living the adage of “spend money to make money”….and I’m not going to lie… it sucks. With the logistics of getting ready to have pictures taken … I am struggling with the “urgency” of it all… again its the cost…I’ve done this whole house without going in debt.. and, yep, I pride myself on it…there have been many vacations not taken , I’ve learned about budgeting things like tile.. and then its installation … meaning 2000 square ft of tile might sit in the garage until I have saved the money to have it installed. Or as it often times is the case, I choose to care for my animals because these loves only come to me if they need “extra”!! For a long time we used to introduce my Deaf dog Chille… as our Kitchen!(“yes, and this is Chille our kitchen..”ha!! …. I can say many true and unflattering things about Ken…but he never denied me the care of the animals… even when they cost a “kitchen”!!)…
There are so many people that have been on the journey of this house… and I think sometimes they are stuck in what it was… and how it was …and how slowly it came to be. They have watched the struggles… leaking roof, slanted floor, tile that took 18 months to come… fires, floods… and of course my tears. The house is large and it sits on a jewel of property in Southern California… a flat acre!!!.. which seems weird to think is a big deal if you live literally anywhere else!! But here, in an unincorporated area where there isn’t a Home owners Association to tell you when and what and how to live your life along with when to eat and poop ( don’t get me started on HOA’s).. it is again a rarity, in Southern California…The property itself is worth money…and I totally get that. But in the wake of me trying to get everything perfect and ready for pictures I hear mostly “you know they are just going to rip the house down and build 3 houses on it…”….OOOkay… they have just spit on 16 years of love and dedication to a project… yes, my priorities could have been different and the house would have been finished sooner.. but the key words are “MY priorities”… at the end of each and every day this is not just a house, its a home. Its where friendships are formed, animals are loved , gardens are planted and thrive, meals are cooked ( sometimes with success !!) Holidays are decorated and celebrated for everyone and the door has been open to many for sometimes a week, a month and even years. And while it wasn’t picture perfect it was always everything I had to offer.
Now, its not perfect house but of course, I think its pretty damn nice…. One would think I know all about getting picture perfect…(wink) !! but sadly I’ve never been an anally compulsive housekeeper..( who takes down the vents and washes them all the time???) ….which probably would have helped in this particular preparation and I wasn’t raised with the ‘construction remodeling gene…!’ (But I can now give the tool corral at Home Depot a run for the money!) The logistics of the various things is maddening ! and in the midst of it all, we’ve had crazy ass rain! which makes the tasks of having the inside of the garage painted… I’m talk rafters and all…and of course a nice floor installed…$$$… a logistical nightmare….(arrgh Its a garage…)! I had hoped to have all this ready by the end of this month… actually the month before and one before that…. but so goes the story of things.
So as I was saying , I find the logistic of this “Picture Perfect ” thing a bit daunting… it seems to be riddled with money angst and emotional angst… I evidently don’t have control over the weather (damn it)….the painters… the earthquakes (yes, tile repair in the living room)… it is, to put it bluntly “overwhelming”. So lately I wake up every day…and question this move… I want to snuggle down into the covers and up against the dog butt that is inevitably wedged between my face and my pillow…. I don’t like this part of moving… there i’m just going to say it! Packing and loading 5 Pods was a breeze in comparison to getting ready for a picture perfect reality.
So on the days of late, when my pity party is in full swing… I was reminded the other day by a dear friend that I have always “kept on going”… and so I am still on my way to Austin Texas… hopefully to find a more fulfilling way of life… something that I can build and feed my soul. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for easier… I can’t be that person that needs life to be easier and I don’t believe in”too hard” or “too much work”… I just need it to fill my soul …and try to hang on to my sanity in the process!